Windscreen Wiper Fluid Price Rise Offers Surprise Boost for Oil

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Over the last few decades, driving has become an expensive experience. If it wasn’t the cost of rocketing insurances that were crippling drivers pockets, it was the spiraling cost of filling the car up. Now, with the price of oil plummeting to fresh new lows, car drivers, always with a ready complaint or six, are having a moan about the the recent 2 pence price rise on Wipe-O-Clean Windscreen Wiper Fluid.

The announcement of its first price rise in over 7 months, appeared to be buried amongst the news that Crude Oil dropped to its lowest level since May 2003, as  speculation heightened on what OPEC would do next. However, a sharp eyed staff member at the the AA  (Automobile Association) in the UK,  ran out of windscreen wiper fluid along the A41 just past Kings Langley. On stopping at the nearest Shell garage and buying a 1 liter Wipe-O-Clean Windscreen Wiper Fluid, 2 pork pies, a 6 pack of Walkers Cheese ‘n’ Onion crisps, a Cornish Pasty, 3 Mars bar and a Diet Coke, it was noticed that the price of 1 liter Wipe-O-Clean Windscreen Wiper had risen from £1.37 to £1.39. The AA staff member questioned the cashier as whether there was an error as the price had not risen in just over 8 months. The cashier replied with a weary “you want petrol with that?”

On returning home, the AA staff member, who requested anonymity, a phone call to the  press office at the Wipe-O-Clean head office in Aberdeen confirmed it.”Aye. it has and I dinnae know why” said the woman on the phone, before going back to her haggis and bagpipes.

Within minutes the news was published on the AA website with over 70, 000 UK subscribers. Amongst the obvious panic amongst the nation,  drivers began flocking to garages up and down the United Kingdom, greedily snapping up all available wiper fluids. Many topped up their petrol tanks with petrol whilst doing so and as result of the surge in petrol sales, Crude Oil rose 10%, recording one of its strongest days ever.

The press office at the Wipe-O-Clean head office in Aberdeen, however, refused to answer our questions on whether they were the direct reason for the bounce from the near-14 year low price of Crude Oil

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Daniel Simmons